You Can Do It

Lizett's shower leaks. This problem should theoretically be fixable with a 29 cent neoprene washer from Home Depot.

Dooooo, doo doo dooooo, doo doo dooooo doo doo doo dooooooooo!

Here's the question, do I:

A) Fix the problem and be a manly hero with many concubines.

B) Bow down to the inarguable truth that no plumbing repair, no matter how insignificant, is ever as simple or straightforward as it seems, and simply leave it to the landlord thus avoiding the potential liability of reducing the entire complex to a pile of soggy rubble.

Cast your vote now, many lives could depend on it.

BUH-da-da BUH-da-da BUH-da-da daaaaaaaaaaaa!

Cookies

First, I need to download much electronica, and quickly. I had my Insurance and Benefits meeting today at 8am and I was pretty groggy going out the door, but Hellogoodbye's I Saw It On Your Keyboard randomly came on my iPod and suddenly I had to use all my powers as a dude just to keep from skipping and flapping my arms in that way I occasionally used to at rehearsals all the way to the administration building. Tee hee hee! That reminds me of the best dream ever--we were at Disney World trying to balance on a Nerf football at the bottom of a swimming pool and Merten told us that the night before he'd dreamed that he had All the Powers of Disney, but they just weren't enough to save his family. He couldn't remember what kind of peril his family was in, he explained, but it must have been serious if all the powers of Disney, also unidentified, couldn't save them. It was actually really funny when he told it.

Second, I just came back from a delicious meal at Posse East, a small bastion of greasy deliciousness just down the street from Lizett's place, and it was the best meal of my life. Before that the Krispy Kreme and Wendy's single with cheese I had for lunch was the best meal of my life. Last night I had a 73 cent frozen pizza that doesn't even have a brand name, it just says "Pizza" on the box in a wacky font, and it was the best meal of my life. I don't know what the deal is, but I have been ravenously hungry at every meal since I got here. The only thing I can figure is that suddenly I'm doing some minimal amount of physical activity. I'm not bothering to get a parking pass for UT campus so I'm walking maybe 3 or 4 miles a day, which doesn't sound like so much, but apparently an increase to that from literally nothing is enough to work up some serious gluttony. I'm going to eat some oreos.

I'm Here

It was nearly 80 degrees today. HA!

The trip down was a bit harrowing. It turns out Illinois doesn't have any trees, so although they plowed the roads quite effectively, huge snow drifts would come off the miles of fields and suddenly you've gone from perfect driving conditions to half a foot of snow. It was...worse than it sounds. We counted at least a dozen cars in the ditches, two of them upside-down. It was pretty grand. Fortunately the further south we went the easier the drive was, and we were out of it in just a few hours. We drove for about 12 hours the first day, and we were going to try to make it all the way to Little Rock but ultimately decided to pull off a little early after the following exchange:

Me: Is this the exit we want?
Lizett: You mean...through the guard rail?
Me: What?
Lizett: Honey, there's no exit here.
Me: What?

So apparently 12 hours on the road is my limit--after that I start to hallucinate. We stopped at a totally sweet Holiday Inn in Arkansas with a torn sign and an actual mangy dog tied to a lamp post outside. I chewed on straw and said y'all a lot and Lizett didn't roll her eyes or anything.

Day 2 was uneventful.

The job is going to be good I think! It's a big culture shift from my old office, it's just 7 or 8 guys about my age and it's all results based instead of service based, meaning I don't necessarily need to keep regular office hours, I just need to get my work done. And no ties! In fact, everyone else was wearing shorts and t-shirts today, so...I guess I should buy some shorts and t-shirts.

The only weird thing is there are no lights. I mean, you can have a lamp at your desk or something, and some guys do, but they leave the overhead lights off. Even weirder, when I asked about it, no one seemed to think it was unusual. "What, you like the lights on?" I thought they might have been messing with me at first, then I thought they might be vampires, but finally concluded that they are just firmly and passionately opposed to harsh fluorescent light. Whatever, I don't have be in until 10.

What?? Goulet!

+

=

So Long, Long Distance

Lizett gets in tomorrow to make the glorious drive down down to Austin with me this weekend, so I guess that officially makes today my last day in a long distance relationship ever. All I have to say is thank...GOD. Also, to all my friends embarking upon or continuing the long distance journey: suck it, jerk-face-wad-sack-narc-bots! Dar. And I love you.

Today is also my second-to-last day of work, which means a continuing flood of emails from people saying it was wonderful working with me, some of which come from people I actually worked with. It also means an increasing number of joke propositions from Rocky, some of which are actually jokes. And it means packing, which has been somewhat more of a challenge than I expected. The plan was to just toss everything into Swarles and go, but it seems I have a bit more stuff than I realized. I may be UPSing a few things, and the cost will be proooohibitive.

I'm pretty much set to go. My computers are wiped, my cube is cleaned out, all documents have been burned. I guess I've got some sitting to do.

My Nieces Rock. HARD.

Uh-OHHHHHH

I just thought of two things. First, the vast majority of this blog is hosted on nd.edu, so in t-minus two weeks it's going to look heinously maimed.

Second, I've been using my nd.edu email address nigh on 9 years now, I guess I'll have to switch that up. So from now on, you can email me at sschreib at gmail dot com, or as always sschreib at alumni dot nd dot edu.

11

I'm out! After nearly nine years here in the Bend, and one of flying back and forth to Texas every few weeks, I'm finally moving.

I took the UT job. I suppose I should have at least waited to see if I got the job at the other place, but instead I didn't. Eat that, wisdom! Is it delicious? UT was just too tempting. I can keep working in higher education, live and work right next to Lizett, and coming out of multiple Universities will look great on my application when I'm looking into grad school in Higher Ed Administration in a couple

Oh God, a pipe just burst. Just right now. Sweet Lord, it smells like sewage in here. It's so horrible. AHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, so that'll be good on my application. Also, because for some reason things always work out ridiculously well for me--I think because God really enjoys my constant mockery of organized religion--it just so happens that a friend of Lizett's suddenly has an available room in his house near UT and is happy to rent it to me cheap, on short notice, with no deposit, until the wedding. What? How did that happen? I love it.

So I'm out of here in like no time at all. My last day at ND will be the 16th, then I'll drive all day the 17th, all day the 18th, settle in on the 19th, and start work the 20th. It's going to be awesome! And I actually don't mean that sarcastically, because--proving once and for all that she is by far the greatest person ever to exist--Lizett is flying to South Bend to make the long drive back with me. My head asplode.

It's a little sad to go. I'll miss living with the Ball, the constant gay innuendo from Rocky, and Raul's sweet caress. I will not miss the pipe-bursting -3 degree weather. Ohhhhh God it's in my raccoon wounds.

I Got An Offer

More at 11.