He's No Robot Ray Liotta

I had a dream last night that this tall guy in Mayan tribal vestments smacked me so hard in the back of the head that my vision went blurry...but then I took my glasses off and I could see 20/20.

Whoa.

...And That's How I Chemically Burned My Nipples

It's been a while...have I still got the moves? Prepare to be enthralled, although I should confess ahead of time that there's not really anything in here about chemically burned nipples. Although there is general mention of nipples, so that's something.

First off, I'm so totally married now, and as such finally found out what the female reproductive organs look like. Baby they blew my mind. Thanks everyone who made it out, we really appreciated everyone--and I mean EVERYONE, since Lizett and I were the only people in attendance who actually live in Austin--traveling so far to celebrate with us.

Note to all attendees--thank you notes are delayed to varying degrees due to our moving schedule. If you sent a gift to Austin you'll be getting one forthwith, however if you sent it to Columbus (our default address on the registry) it'll be a couple months because, you know, we're not there yet. We thought about sending pre-thank-you notes that said, can't wait to open your gift in June! But then we thought, yeah we're not doing that.

Blogging about the wedding or honeymoon has seemed too daunting because so much stuff happened. What to cover, where to begin? Maybe I'll do it later. For now I'll just mention the incident nearest and dearest to my heart, which is that Lizett's boob popped right out of her swimsuit on the second day of the honeymoon and the entire pool population saw the goods. Suckaaaaaaaa!

Just married:

The honeymoon:

Leaving the honeymoon: