YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-I-CO!?

YEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!

Winter Update

It's been a while, so to get everyone up to speed I've decided to employ a very sexy Q&A format. Strap in.

So, what's been going on lately?

Oh, you know. Work. Food. Sleep. We've been watching a lot of The Wire lately, it's pretty awesome. I've been to Hooters 3 times in the past 3 weeks, which would be pretty pathetic if I were a lonely old fat man, but is fine if my wife just likes wings and beer, right?

How goes the 2008 Schreiber Beard Challenge?

No go this year, I'm smooth as a baby mole rat. My current position as a relatively new employee in a well-lit office precludes my participation this year, and I think everyone else just didn't feel like doing it.

That's lame. You're lame. Holiday plans?

We're heading down to Mexico next weekend for a week and a half of fun, sun, and potential diarrhea.

What's on your Christmas list this year?

I would like not to have diarrhea in Mexico.

Why does he pronounce it "diabetus"?

I don't know. Ignorance? Comedy genius? I could answer your question better if I knew what the hell you were talking about.

If you could take back one thing in your life, what would it be?

I definitely would not have kicked that goat in the balls. Sweet Mary he was angry. I cannot even begin to explain to you the rending physical pain, heartache, property damage, and astronomical cost--both financial and psychological--that ensued as a direct result of me kicking that goat in the balls. Honest to God it was the worst mistake of my life.

Why DID you kick that goat in the balls?

Don't ask.

Is Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles any good?

Yeah, I like it. It's really tiding over my scifi needs until Battlestar and Lost come back, and I don't care what any of you jerks at the AVClub think.

What about Kath & Kim? Is that any good?

It's terrible.

But you only saw the pilot.

Screw you, I'm not putting myself through that again.

How's old Swarles?

I love that little son of a bitch. Every night when we settle down to watch TV, he jumps up and stretches across two cushions, leaving only half a cushion each for Lizett and myself, and for some reason instead of being enraged I think it's adorable. And he really hates the cold. Even if he has to pee really bad he just turns around and huddles by the door as soon as we let him out. He likes the snow once he gets out there though, he digs through it searching for treasure, then he gets snow in his nose and it makes him sneeze. It's pretty cute.

Are you growing some sort of crazy afro lately?

Yes, but only upwards, like Chris Reid from Kid 'n Play. I didn't intend for this to happen, I've just been lazy and now I don't want to have to get two haircuts before visiting Lizett's family, so I'm letting it ride.

Anything else going on?

Nah, not really. That's why I haven't been blogging much. I'll let you know how Mexico goes. And by "you" I mean my mom, since my only other reader will have lived it.