Fun Times in Charlotte
Crud looked amazing. Anyone who was giggling at the thought of Crud in a wedding dress (I was), let me assure you that it wasn't hilarious at all, she looked made for it. The whole wedding was well done, very appropriate for those two. The ceremony was in a small church, and was pretty light hearted. The priest had a strange obsession with Everybody Loves Raymond, one of the readers tripped, and at a particularly emotional moment, as John's father was up in front of everyone haltingly reading the "Love is this, love is that, blahbitty blah blah" passage, fighting back tears, my stomach decided to tell everyone that I had missed breakfast with a very attractive and resonant "RRRREEEAAARRROOOOWW".
Here's a little tidbit. As one of the "Bridal Attendants" I had the unique opportunity of waiting with the ladies in the women's dressing room, and do you know what they talk about back there? Boobs. I knew it.
Anyway, the ceremony was very nice. There was a formal reception directly following at a swanky club downtown. It was the usual--champagne, toasts, pictures, mingling. I ate wedding cake combined with pepper-jack cheese, and brother, it was delicious. Ball made the unfortunate mistake of commenting on the attractiveness of Christina, who is a) related to Crud and b) 17. So Andy and I entertained ourselves for a couple hours trying to make that one happen, though sadly without success.
There was an all-day lake party at the McClain house following the formal reception. I rode in a speedboat! I also swam among the fish poop against my will and better judgment. Ball rammed another speedboat with a kayak and capsized. Seriously, that really happened. It was fantastic. It was good to hang out with everyone, old friends and associates. I'd say it was just like old times, but of course it wasn't. Everyone has changed to a greater or lesser degree. Andy grew muttonchops and now sports a handlebar moustache. Other people are getting married, buying houses, having kids, finding careers. The weird part is that it doesn't seem that weird--what's weird is thinking back to how nuts everyone was just a few years ago, and how baby smooth Andy's face was.
Speaking of Andy, I'd like to thank him for reminding me what comedy is. Comedy is reverse-thong speedos. Comedy is flaccid nipples. Comedy is 3 million gallons of untreated wastewater exploding into tourist beaches, and some poor bastard having to go out there and clamp the pipe off by hand. Comedy is also announcing to Andy that I barely have enough close male friends to fill my 7-groomsmen quota, and not realizing until the next day that I had totally forgotten to ask him to be one of them. Oops.
Has anyone else ever met Crud's older sister, Alex? FREAKY. They look similar enough to be twins, but they sound exactly the same. Their voices are not similar, but completely indistinguishable. Every word choice, inflection, accent, totally identical. This led to me repeatedly hearing Crud and turning to join the conversation only to be met with a bunch of strangers. Also Crud tackled me, and licked my face. Those two events were unrelated. The end.
The trip back was uneventful. We had to get to the airport enormously early to make Megan's flight, and as our own flight was delayed we had a solid 5 hours to thoroughly explore the A, B, C, D, and E concourses of the Charlotte airport. My favorite was B. It has a store that sells canes.
Here's a little tidbit. As one of the "Bridal Attendants" I had the unique opportunity of waiting with the ladies in the women's dressing room, and do you know what they talk about back there? Boobs. I knew it.
Anyway, the ceremony was very nice. There was a formal reception directly following at a swanky club downtown. It was the usual--champagne, toasts, pictures, mingling. I ate wedding cake combined with pepper-jack cheese, and brother, it was delicious. Ball made the unfortunate mistake of commenting on the attractiveness of Christina, who is a) related to Crud and b) 17. So Andy and I entertained ourselves for a couple hours trying to make that one happen, though sadly without success.
There was an all-day lake party at the McClain house following the formal reception. I rode in a speedboat! I also swam among the fish poop against my will and better judgment. Ball rammed another speedboat with a kayak and capsized. Seriously, that really happened. It was fantastic. It was good to hang out with everyone, old friends and associates. I'd say it was just like old times, but of course it wasn't. Everyone has changed to a greater or lesser degree. Andy grew muttonchops and now sports a handlebar moustache. Other people are getting married, buying houses, having kids, finding careers. The weird part is that it doesn't seem that weird--what's weird is thinking back to how nuts everyone was just a few years ago, and how baby smooth Andy's face was.
Speaking of Andy, I'd like to thank him for reminding me what comedy is. Comedy is reverse-thong speedos. Comedy is flaccid nipples. Comedy is 3 million gallons of untreated wastewater exploding into tourist beaches, and some poor bastard having to go out there and clamp the pipe off by hand. Comedy is also announcing to Andy that I barely have enough close male friends to fill my 7-groomsmen quota, and not realizing until the next day that I had totally forgotten to ask him to be one of them. Oops.
Has anyone else ever met Crud's older sister, Alex? FREAKY. They look similar enough to be twins, but they sound exactly the same. Their voices are not similar, but completely indistinguishable. Every word choice, inflection, accent, totally identical. This led to me repeatedly hearing Crud and turning to join the conversation only to be met with a bunch of strangers. Also Crud tackled me, and licked my face. Those two events were unrelated. The end.
The trip back was uneventful. We had to get to the airport enormously early to make Megan's flight, and as our own flight was delayed we had a solid 5 hours to thoroughly explore the A, B, C, D, and E concourses of the Charlotte airport. My favorite was B. It has a store that sells canes.
Post a Comment
Post a Comment