Unexpected Visit
We randomly hung out with dheinsch this weekend. A text came in for Lizett from "Dave" which of course confused and bewildered her--she should have him labeled "dheinsch" as I do.
Dave: are you in austin?
Lizett: yeah, me and mal
Dave: me too
And that was it for a while. I thought perhaps that was the last we would hear from dheinsch, which wouldn't be at all out of the ordinary, but eventually he gave us a ring and it was decided we would meet for dinner and a show at Esther's Follies. Esther's Follies is pretty awesome. It's hard to explain their show but it's a series of skits set to wacky music lampooning recent political and pop culture developments. Also there's magic. Anyway, at one point in the show, they asked for a volunteer and dheinsch's girlfriend generously raised his hand for him.
It is worth noting that if Lizett had raised my arm for me in such a situation, I would've immediately torn it off with my other hand and beat her to death with it. Over the top? Yes, but still preferable to being volunteered to go up on stage. I am somewhat of a conundrum that way, it seems. Everyone who reads this is aware that I am not only perfectly willing but often eager to make an enormous ass out of myself in large groups, but it seems to only apply to informal situations. I'm perfectly willing to, say, sheepishly convince a group of 20 or so that I am improperly dressed because I was playing with matches that morning and accidentally caught my pants on fire, but there's no way you could get me out onto a dance floor. I'm perfectly willing to bend over 10 or 15 times while various women publicly judge whether or not I have an ass (finally tally, 15-0 for WOW) but there's no way I'd get up on stage in front of those very same folks. I don't get it either. Just don't raise my hand.
Anyway, the bit was that there were two ostensibly hot women on stage looking for a volunteer to make out with them both for a movie shoot, but then when the volunteer goes up the women are replaced by two scantily clad male stunt doubles. It's a pretty funny bit, and no doubt under normal circumstances the volunteer goes into cardiac arrest from embarrassment and general discomfort, but by God I think dheinsch was the least uncomfortable person on that stage. Fondling the fake breasts, that was impressive my friend, but when you started in on their inner thighs--that is commitment to the bit. Also it brought back frightening college memories of just how far you are willing to take a gay joke. Let's move on.
So it was a pretty good night. We hung out with the cast for a few minutes after the show to tell them good job and all that jazz, and to my consternation they all immediately lit up. I'm sure that doesn't seem unusual to most, but Austin is a smoke free city and I was getting quite used to the fresh air. Anyway, not that big a deal, after all they work there and the show was over and they certainly have the right to die in the manner they choose, and if I don't like it I'm welcome to leave, which I did in short order--but what annoyed me was that one of the cast members had her 10 year old son there. When you and your 10 friends light up in a clearly designated smoke free area right by a 10 year old kid who has nowhere to go, I can see no reason you shouldn't be charged with child endangerment, attempted murder, grand theft auto, selling team paraphernalia without a permit, tax evasion, shoplifting, and high treason.
After the show dheinsch hit 6th street and partied like a rock star and Lizett and I went home and went to bed. It was 11:30. BONG.
Dave: are you in austin?
Lizett: yeah, me and mal
Dave: me too
And that was it for a while. I thought perhaps that was the last we would hear from dheinsch, which wouldn't be at all out of the ordinary, but eventually he gave us a ring and it was decided we would meet for dinner and a show at Esther's Follies. Esther's Follies is pretty awesome. It's hard to explain their show but it's a series of skits set to wacky music lampooning recent political and pop culture developments. Also there's magic. Anyway, at one point in the show, they asked for a volunteer and dheinsch's girlfriend generously raised his hand for him.
It is worth noting that if Lizett had raised my arm for me in such a situation, I would've immediately torn it off with my other hand and beat her to death with it. Over the top? Yes, but still preferable to being volunteered to go up on stage. I am somewhat of a conundrum that way, it seems. Everyone who reads this is aware that I am not only perfectly willing but often eager to make an enormous ass out of myself in large groups, but it seems to only apply to informal situations. I'm perfectly willing to, say, sheepishly convince a group of 20 or so that I am improperly dressed because I was playing with matches that morning and accidentally caught my pants on fire, but there's no way you could get me out onto a dance floor. I'm perfectly willing to bend over 10 or 15 times while various women publicly judge whether or not I have an ass (finally tally, 15-0 for WOW) but there's no way I'd get up on stage in front of those very same folks. I don't get it either. Just don't raise my hand.
Anyway, the bit was that there were two ostensibly hot women on stage looking for a volunteer to make out with them both for a movie shoot, but then when the volunteer goes up the women are replaced by two scantily clad male stunt doubles. It's a pretty funny bit, and no doubt under normal circumstances the volunteer goes into cardiac arrest from embarrassment and general discomfort, but by God I think dheinsch was the least uncomfortable person on that stage. Fondling the fake breasts, that was impressive my friend, but when you started in on their inner thighs--that is commitment to the bit. Also it brought back frightening college memories of just how far you are willing to take a gay joke. Let's move on.
So it was a pretty good night. We hung out with the cast for a few minutes after the show to tell them good job and all that jazz, and to my consternation they all immediately lit up. I'm sure that doesn't seem unusual to most, but Austin is a smoke free city and I was getting quite used to the fresh air. Anyway, not that big a deal, after all they work there and the show was over and they certainly have the right to die in the manner they choose, and if I don't like it I'm welcome to leave, which I did in short order--but what annoyed me was that one of the cast members had her 10 year old son there. When you and your 10 friends light up in a clearly designated smoke free area right by a 10 year old kid who has nowhere to go, I can see no reason you shouldn't be charged with child endangerment, attempted murder, grand theft auto, selling team paraphernalia without a permit, tax evasion, shoplifting, and high treason.
After the show dheinsch hit 6th street and partied like a rock star and Lizett and I went home and went to bed. It was 11:30. BONG.
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