Digital! Noventa y Dos Punto Cinco! Digital, Digital, Digitaaaaaaaal! Noventa y Dos Punto Cinco!

We were at happy hour on Thursday with some of Lizett's immigration clinic buddies, and this guy from the kitchen brings our food to us doing that weird strong guy walk where you move really slow and arch your back to puff your man-boobies as far out in front of you as you can and kind of hold your arms out away from your body as if to say "My God, my biceps are so large that they actually prevent my arms from hanging normally at my sides!" A real badass. The important part of the story is that as he walked off, he was laughed at by all.

Another time as we were walking to a tailgate we saw a ridiculously muscular guy doing an even more ridiculous strong guy walk, and after we passed we simply couldn't contain ourselves and burst into audible laughter. I know the guy could hear us but I don't imagine it affected him because you could tell from that walk that he knew--knew--that he was extremely awesome and doing that walk made him EVEN AWESOMER.

I'm not insulting big muscley fellows, mostly because I don't want to get my ass kicked. Also because I am genuinely jealous. I spent over a year gyming it up five days a week in an attempt to become a slightly muscley fellow and failed miserably. But here's the thing, my musclebound friends: when you do that ludicrous walk, no one is intimidated or impressed--as they rightly should be--with the body you've obviously put an enormous amount of work into. They are in fact all thinking, in perfect sync, "Haha, look at that funny walk! What an asshole." I know it hurts, fellows, but I would not lie to you about this. Take it from a man who has been forced by circumstance to make his way vainly attempting to be the Funny Guy--you have a gift. Don't waste it by walking like a douche.