If I Were A Rich Man
1) I would have a 3 piece suit made from a bunch of $100 bills sewn together. Instead of just looking like a million bucks, it'd actually be a million bucks. I would be the biggest pimp in the world, and Snoop Dogg would have to hang out with me. In the future, all high profile gangstas will wear clothes made of money. Their canes will be stacks of rare coins.
2) I would donate an obscene amount of money to Notre Dame, contingent on them building a new dorm called "Mal Hall" which houses a single 2000 square foot room. This room would be occupied by two freshman each year, prescreened for their propensity to throw uber-sweet campus-wide freshman-only parties. This room would officially be considered off-campus and liquor rules would not apply.
3) I would go to a casual dining restaurant for lunch and leave the keys to an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish S as a tip. I would later return for dinner, request a different waitress, and tip her with a single mountain dew cap and a note that says "Collect more points for cool dew gear!!"
4) I would buy a large tract of land and a firetruck so I can see what that bad boy looks like driving off a cliff.
5) I would use my power and influence to get cast on The Apprentice and punch Donald Trump in the crotch.
6) I would hire The Macho Man Randy Savage to intimidate my enemies.
7) I would go to a taco bell drive-through, order everything on the menu, pay for it, and then when they try to hand me my food, scream "So long, suckers!" and peel off.
2) I would donate an obscene amount of money to Notre Dame, contingent on them building a new dorm called "Mal Hall" which houses a single 2000 square foot room. This room would be occupied by two freshman each year, prescreened for their propensity to throw uber-sweet campus-wide freshman-only parties. This room would officially be considered off-campus and liquor rules would not apply.
3) I would go to a casual dining restaurant for lunch and leave the keys to an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish S as a tip. I would later return for dinner, request a different waitress, and tip her with a single mountain dew cap and a note that says "Collect more points for cool dew gear!!"
4) I would buy a large tract of land and a firetruck so I can see what that bad boy looks like driving off a cliff.
5) I would use my power and influence to get cast on The Apprentice and punch Donald Trump in the crotch.
6) I would hire The Macho Man Randy Savage to intimidate my enemies.
7) I would go to a taco bell drive-through, order everything on the menu, pay for it, and then when they try to hand me my food, scream "So long, suckers!" and peel off.
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