All The Way Back

This was our Busy Two Weeks where we do all the initial course scheduling for the departments. My trained and skilled partner in scheduling recently left the office to devote herself full time to prostitution, leaving me with her as yet untrained and unskilled replacement, so it has been a bit hectic. Our office used to have a team of 10 or 12 people going full tilt for 2 weeks to get things done--through my near god-like genius I have been able to cut that down to a team of 3, but it turns out a team of 2 trying to get it done while simultaneously training a new person may have been a bit...insane. We got it done though. So it's done.

Secondly--Chipotle opens in the Bend tomorrow. Freaking sweeeeeeeet!

Thirdly, now that I finally have some time to waste, as I have grown accustomed to during work hours...it's time for my vacation wrap-up.

So I picked Lizett up at the Raleigh/Durham airport Friday night, and I had just seen her that Monday, which is totally unusual for us--usually we don’t see each other for several weeks at a time. I had something running through my head about how nice it was to see her again so soon, how it didn’t feel like a big reunion but just...seeing her, like normal people see each other, but what actually came out of my mouth was "You know, I think this is the least excited I’ve ever been to see you." Smooooooooooth! Oh well, that’s why God invented makeup sex. After marriage, of course.

We stayed at my brother's house in Durham Friday night and headed out for Topsail Beach on Saturday morning. It was pretty awesome. The hurricane had cleared out most of the bad weather, the house was big, comfy, and right on the beach, and the whole family was there. It was Lizett’s first time meeting everyone, but fortunately they were able to bond over mercilessly making fun of me, so that was a real ice breaker. Although I guess the ice was already broken, as the first thing she heard my brother-in-law Todd say was "Mmm, I love to watch Eric shower." Please enjoy that quote with no context or explanation whatsoever.

First things first, we went and frolicked in the ocean a la Rocky III. We took a football with us and repeatedly played the prank where you throw it just as a big wave is coming in and it totally nails the receiver. This is funny every time. EVERY time. You know what else is funny? When your girlfriend is out on the beach just meeting your family for the first time and--SNAP!--her tankini strap pops open. Classic Lizett! Always showing your bosoms to people.

The rest of the vacation was much as you’d expect. Walks on the beach, big dinners, sitting around and chatting, board games, all that stuff. It was a really good time. And there were babies. Babies and beaches means baby swimsuits!

Actually that picture was taken several weeks before for a pool visit, but you get the point. They were adorable. They are both just learning to talk, and for some reason Natalie tends to just say the beginning of words, while Gwen just says the end. To Natalie, fish are fee, to Gwen, chips are ips. Together they are some sort of super-intelligent genius baby. They were a little scared of the ocean, and rightly so, as they are only about a foot and a half tall a piece and have never seen anything remotely like it, but I think they really started to enjoy themselves. Todd and Lisa would hold them by the arms at the edge of the water and lift them up as the waves came in, and they giggled like--and this will shock you--little girls.

So that was NC. Good food, family together time, and babies. Bah-BEEEES, as Natalie would say. Lizett and I ended up leaving early Thursday because we wanted to be back in South Bend for the Penn State game, and I wanted to stop off overnight in Columbus and show her home. It was quite a drive, I think we made it in a little under 11 hours, proving we are indeed meant to be together, because if you can ride in a car with someone for 11 hours and only punch her once, brother, you’ve got it made.

We were pretty exhausted by the time we got to Columbus, but by GOD not too exhausted to go to the Lube. It's so delicious. It makes Hooters wings seem like a big pile of dead swallows. European swallows. And the next day we went to Donatos, pretty much by far the most delicious pizza ever. So…those were our two big adventures in my hometown. We...ate, twice. And as Lizett mentioned, were nearly killed when a bathtub spontaneously plummeted from the sky...fortunately narrowly missing us and hitting some nearby republicans instead. We headed back to the Bend that afternoon and--there we are. I think I already wrote the rest. Thus concludes my magical backwards journey through the mind. Screw you, jerkwads!