Great and Good

Firstly, my head asplode. Steve Jobs, you magnificent bastard. Have my babies!

Secondly, the sun is out, the sun is out, oh praise Allah, the sun is out. I haven't seen it since flying out of Phoenix over a week ago, and realized to my horror when it finally peeked through the permaclouds today that I hadn't even noticed its absence. Congratulations South Bend, you have crushed my soul. Have my babies.

And by the way, Phoenix was excellent. I will take a tip from the Nipples and keep my commentary short, as virtually all of the people who would ever even consider reading this drivel were there anyway, but here are some highlights:

--Lauren + Drunk = Crazy Delicious. Lauren is not someone you would accuse of being shy in any case, and beer apparently completely eradicates all her internal filters--to hilarious effect.

--Mating with the plate glass window at Jack in the Box. Or perhaps some other fast food establishment. I don't know.

--Calling Dixie's friend "Jimmy" all weekend, often and loudly, and for no reason I can remember. I think his real name was Jude.

--Getting free drinks at O'Sullivan's or O'Leary's or O'Grady's or whatever the hell that place was called for being ND grads. Hellz yes.

--For all you doubters, Bruiser is still hot.

Unfortunately the actual game was cancelled on account of a rare Arizona monsoon. I think a butterfly flapped its wings in Budapest or something. Who knows what our boys could have done given the chance? I suspect at least 16 Buckeye fatalities.

Now back to work. At my NEW DESK. That's right, I have a NEW DESK. And it's under the WATER PIPES that occasionally BURST IN WINTER, much like my BLADDER when I first moved into my BRAND SPANKING NEW DESK.