Hahaha! Mine Is An Evil Laugh! Now die.

I finally caught the first couple episodes of Firefly last night in an effort to silence the insane drooling fanboy savages who poop their pants and give me twenty minute lectures every time I say I haven't seen it yet. Listen you insane drooling savages, I don't need you or anyone to tell me that a show about chinese old west spaceship pirates is going to be awesome. I invented shows about chinese old west spaceship pirates being awesome.

In a continuing effort to expand my horizons, I also watched the season finale of Nip/Tuck last night, though I had never seen another episode all the way through. You'd think that would take away from the drama, but no. I sweated and paced profusely throughout, and punched myself in the neck repeatedly during commercial breaks just to calm myself down. When crazy eyebrow man was kidnapped by insane confederate flag wielding guy and forced at gunpoint to slice off his transvestite friend/brawl buddy's wang with a box cutter, I actually fell unconscious. And that wasn't even the worst of it! Those that follow the show will know that last night they finally revealed the much hyped secret identity of The Carver, and in a heart stopping twist, it turned out to be none other than: Carl Weathers! Slice someone's cheeks open, remove all her implants, inject her with rotting chicken fat--baby, you got a stew goin!