SNOW DAY!!!

Not the kind where school is cancelled. Unlike some schools--which I've heard rumors are a little vrooom, I'm just saying--ND does not cancel school for a few paltry snowflakes or apocalyptic blizzards. Nope, just a day with lots of snow. When I walked out to my car this morning, I saw a couple girls digging a Ford Excursion out of their parking spot. Oh, mother nature, I'm so scared of you! Please don't hurt me with your piles of crystallized water! Whatever. Mother nature didn't count on the awesome power of the Honda Civic, nor did she count on the awesome size of my genitals, which are, by the way, awesome. Have you ever seen me in mesh shorts? I'm just saying. So I walked past my shovel with nary a glance, I got in the old Silver Bullet, and I rocked. I rocked HARD.

And mother nature gave way.

Then a few feet later I got stuck. But do you know what else mother nature didn't count on? My willingness to totally floor it, spinning my wheels and spewing snow all over the freshly dug Excursion trench as I laughed and laughed and laughed, screaming "110 horses, HOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I drove like a bat out of hell! I drove like a warrior poet--and inch by inch, I won my freedom.

So, did anyone get the vrooom thing? No? Shaving cream on a wooden beam?