For Those Who Haven't Heard...

I didn't want to say anything before lest I rob Vnak the pleasure of spreading the word personally (plus I was likely the last person to hear anyway), but now that he's commented on this very piece of cybershite, let me reiterate--THE VNAKS ARE HAVING TWINS! Is that not the craziest shit you have ever heard? TWINS!! Right now there are TWO new Vnaks chilling in the womb, filling out preschool applications and discussing the best financial investments to secure their college tuition. Mama and Papa Vnak--I love it.

Now please enjoy these two tidbits which sound made up but are not:

1) While enjoying all you can eat wings and a few pitchers at the local Hooters last night, Ball flirtatiously threatened to knife the waitress--upping the total number of restaurant employees he's threatened to knife this week to 2.

2) The interior of Stitch's house was savagely ransacked yesterday...by a deer.

What?