Dancing Pictures
Whelp--all I did was watch TV and movies this weekend.
Stealth--The deformed lovechild of Top Gun and Short Circuit 2. I never knew airplanes had DNA until I saw this movie, but it turns out they do! Some special effects genius said "You know what would be awesome, is if when the plane is struck by lightning, we show a double helix breaking apart!" And God save me, he was right. Anyway, EDI, played by HAL 9000, is a haywire AI jet fighter with an arsenal of evil--but a heart of gold. Then some stuff happens, and shit blows up, and Jessica Biel prances around in a bikini, and I drink another beer.
Glory Road--I liked this one better when it was called Remember the Titans, but it was still pretty good. Josh Lucas, played by the hot dog pilot from Stealth, takes a rag-tag group of young black athletes and leads them down a road to--you guessed it--glory. My heart asplode.
Hitch--Haha! This was much funnier than I expected. Every movie for the rest of eternity should end in a dance montage featuring Kevin James.
The Great Raid--Oh God, the US military is so freaking sweet. Don't step to us, bitches, because we'll knock you right back down. Not since Miss Congeniality has Benjamin Bratt had such a compelling performance. USA! USA! USA!
Battlestar Galactica--Never before has one series dealt with so many serious issues--military abuse of power, torture, terrorism, patriotism, abortion, drug abuse, alcoholism--all on a badass spaceship. I love it. I love it I love it I love it.
Futurama--Let's disco dance, Hammurabi!
The Simpsons--I was so incredulous toward the craptitude of this episode that all my organs simultaneously failed. Bring back Conan O'Brien!
Family Guy--Haha, Stewie shot Brian in the kneecaps and lit him on fire! Should I really be laughing at this? Too late!
American Dad--What the hell?? American Dad is apparently hilarious now. Stan bought a Flava Flav clock and did a sweet rocket boot dance! And he had trouble finding a parking spot! Sometimes I have trouble finding parking spots! Haha, and Klaus didn't even take the large condoms. That's comedy!
Stealth--The deformed lovechild of Top Gun and Short Circuit 2. I never knew airplanes had DNA until I saw this movie, but it turns out they do! Some special effects genius said "You know what would be awesome, is if when the plane is struck by lightning, we show a double helix breaking apart!" And God save me, he was right. Anyway, EDI, played by HAL 9000, is a haywire AI jet fighter with an arsenal of evil--but a heart of gold. Then some stuff happens, and shit blows up, and Jessica Biel prances around in a bikini, and I drink another beer.
Glory Road--I liked this one better when it was called Remember the Titans, but it was still pretty good. Josh Lucas, played by the hot dog pilot from Stealth, takes a rag-tag group of young black athletes and leads them down a road to--you guessed it--glory. My heart asplode.
Hitch--Haha! This was much funnier than I expected. Every movie for the rest of eternity should end in a dance montage featuring Kevin James.
The Great Raid--Oh God, the US military is so freaking sweet. Don't step to us, bitches, because we'll knock you right back down. Not since Miss Congeniality has Benjamin Bratt had such a compelling performance. USA! USA! USA!
Battlestar Galactica--Never before has one series dealt with so many serious issues--military abuse of power, torture, terrorism, patriotism, abortion, drug abuse, alcoholism--all on a badass spaceship. I love it. I love it I love it I love it.
Futurama--Let's disco dance, Hammurabi!
The Simpsons--I was so incredulous toward the craptitude of this episode that all my organs simultaneously failed. Bring back Conan O'Brien!
Family Guy--Haha, Stewie shot Brian in the kneecaps and lit him on fire! Should I really be laughing at this? Too late!
American Dad--What the hell?? American Dad is apparently hilarious now. Stan bought a Flava Flav clock and did a sweet rocket boot dance! And he had trouble finding a parking spot! Sometimes I have trouble finding parking spots! Haha, and Klaus didn't even take the large condoms. That's comedy!
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