Updates

It being Christmas time, I've gotten some updates from a few people so I thought I'd spread the word:

Mothball: is currently living in Chicago with his lady, interviewing for robotics jobs, and drinking.

Jism: and company ran up an $1100 bar tab at her SO's birthday bash last Friday.

Crud: writes very short update emails with no actual content.

Andy&Becky: are thus far unaware that I've switched out their preferred method of birth control for folgers crystals.

Lunchbox: is working tech support in NY and is totally not gay no matter what I may have repeatedly told you.

Goat: was the victim of a farfetched industrial accident in which his DNA combined with that of a chimpanzee. He still looks about the same but possesses the strength of ten men.

Rooster: is getting married! I realize I am informing absolutely no one of this since I was waaaaaaaaay the last person to hear.

Rocky: is living in Indy and inexplicably considering a 24 hour train ride as his means to getting to Texas for the wedding.

Raul: is a for reals international industrial accident preventer based in SB.

Dave: is successfully running a scam in which his roommates pay the entire mortgage for the house he just bought.

Stitch: was the victim of a farfetched industrial accident in which his DNA combined with that of a chimpanzee. There were no apparent effects.

Ben & Amy: are probably lost.

Crowley: is in GA studying rocket science and growing sweet 'staches part time.

Doozer: was sadly lost in the custody battle.

Vnak & Vnak (& Vnak & Vnak): are all piled into their minivan for a Sunday drive.

Kimlinger & Kimlinger: routinely incorporate superpubs into their pillow talk.

Jer: is totally flying all the way to Texas for my wedding even though I didn't go to his. Boy do I feel like a douche.

Nemo: is, at this moment, making someone horrendously uncomfortable.

Jan: thinks I'm great and is a chump.

Liz: is a chump and thinks I'm great.

Lizett: will be spending her first Christmas with the Schreibers in t-minus 7 days!

I: can't wait to shave this beard.