ENGAGE'D!

That's right, congratulations are in order as I proposed on the 27th of December and am thusly engaged to my intended pledged spoken for betrothed fiancée Lizett, to whom I shall soon be wed at our wedding in Weddington, TX. I know this probably comes as a big shock. No one expected this, or openly and loudly predicted it all through undergrad. Well played, undefined masses. Hey, here's us at our engagement outing:

Or if you prefer candid:

It looks like we're in deep important conversation about the direction of our lives or something, but we were actually talking about cheese. Production, sale, consumption, the whole gamut.

So here's how it went down, elaborate-plan-with-no-chance-of-success style:

1.) Planting the seeds. A couple months ahead of time, I suggested that perhaps while she was visiting my family in Columbus over Christmas we could head to the Bend for a night and hit the bars with the guys.

2.) Tending the garden. Here's where things get sneaky...oh so sneaky. "Hey, if it snows while we're there, maybe it would be cool to get dressed up and take some formal pictures around campus!" This is the exact moment when Lizett figured out my entire devious plan.

3.) Misdirection. This is the part where I play up how desperately broke I am due to frequent flights back and forth to TX. No money for a ring here! Maybe tax return time! Ha ha! LISTEN TO ME! IGNORE THE MASSIVE CREDIT INCREASE YOU JUST OVERHEARD ME DISCUSSING ON THE PHONE! Where did I put those forget-me-nows?

4.) Execution. Drive into the Bend, head to a suspiciously Mothball-free condo, and suit up. Nothing special going on here! It's for the pictures. Oh you're hungry? We'll eat later. PICTURES NOW. It'll be quick. Who's going to take them? Shut your face, that's who. So we drive to campus and cleverly, instead of heading for a picture location, I beeline straight for the McGlinn benches. We spent a couple significant nights there, see, kind of a key spot for us. I've got a speech all worked out, but I stumble over it and forget all the key parts. I'm a little nervous. I pull out the ring and ask. I forget to kneel. I'm a lot nervous. Lizett will tell you I wept like a little bitch at this point, but that's a blatant lie. The truth is I was presenting the ring with one hand while throwing a superbowl winning pass with the other and roundhouse kicking some street punks with both feet, all manly like. It was a proposal to remember. She said yes!

5.) The lies begin. Lizett looks me straight in the eye and says she had no idea it was coming. I'm okay with this deception but I groin-kick the truth out of her anyway.

6.) Celebration. The Hooters buffalo shrimp were delicious.

No date for the wedding yet. We're thinking the sooner the better, but the planning does take time and there's still the matter of living roughly 1,000 miles apart. I'll keep you posted.