So Hot...Want To Touch The Hiney

So after a week or three of using my Nano, I must say I've been pretty impressed. The screen is clear, the battery life is excellent, and every time a lady sees it she has sex with me.

Two complaints: 1) It's actually a little too light. I didn't think such a thing would be possible, but then my earbud wire got caught on a door handle, and instead of the buds popping out of my ears as the shutting door tugged on the wire, they stayed put and the Nano flew out of my pocket. Whew. That was scary. Here's to no moving parts.

2) The clickwheel. For the Nano, Apple stopped contracting with the folks they had designing their clickwheels and decided to do it themselves. For the most part, the new clickwheel is indistinguishable from the old, but there are subtle and key differences. When I wander around campus, I usually carry my iPod in my back pocket, because doing so affords me plentiful opportunities to discreetly caress my luscious man-booty as I adjust the volume or skip tracks. In the past I would carry it with the controls facing in so I could slip a thumb in my back pocket and use my fingers as a back support as I manipulated the controls, but Apple must have adjusted the temperature or pressure sensitivity, because that dog won't hunt no mo. The thing you must understand about my fine derriere is that although it is sensually curvaceous, it is also pert, taut, yet supple, and above all sizzling hot. Now even the most casual gyrations caused by my normal gait, erotic though they are, are enough to trip the temperature/pressure sensor on the clickwheel volume control, resulting in disaster for my eardrums. So now I have to carry it with the controls facing out, and when I want to change the volume or skip a track, it really does look like I'm caressing my buttock. My fine, well proportioned buttock.

I got totally hosed by an old lady and her gang in the meat section at Martin's last night. I was heading back from Rolfs and I decided a nice fat steak sounded good for dinner. When I got to the meat isle, I started looking for a good piece, and this short old lady came up and stood next to me so close that her hip was brushing my leg. Of course, I fled. I figured she was just old and confused and didn't know about the no touchy rule, but it turns out she was well in control of her faculties and the situation. As soon as I stepped back, two other old ladies materialized from the air, or maybe a nearby aisle, and flanked old lady #1. While they stood there blocking outside access to the meat, the one in the middle took her sweet time sifting through each package and snatching up the choiciest choice cuts of lean deliciousness. All told she was there maybe 5 minutes and took maybe 15 steaks--when she was through the supply of New York Strip had been completely decimated. It was remarkable. These little old ladies had clearly worked out this strategy beforehand, it was just too well executed to be happenstance. I guess when you've been shopping for 50+ years, you pick up a few tricks. Plus, when you're old, you can do pretty much whatever the hell you want.