You Son Of A Bitch

Lunchbox, you have sullied my voicemail inbox with your hilarious profanity, and from Katie's phone no less--normally such a kind, sweet, innocent girl. In the spirit of tenfold, I must now ask you to be a groomsman in my wedding in the most heinous way possible...through my blog. You shall fly out, acquire a tux at your own expense, and dance awkwardly with a bridesmaid of my choosing in front of many old people you do not know. How does that taste? Is it delicious? I'll expect an answer by horse or telegraph on the morrow.