Sewage Ejection Pump

Apparently I am an idiot, and the only person in the world who does not know what a sump pump does. It seems that a sump pump actually has nothing to do with household plumbing--it ejects groundwater from the basement to prevent flooding. What broke in our place was a sewage ejection pump. I've never been more ashamed as a man. The only thing keeping me from seppuku is my rock hard abs, which preclude convenient ritual disembowelment. So anyway, they came out and replaced the pump, but informed us that there is still a clog, and they'd have to get different plumbers to come out and fix that. They're pump guys, you see, not clog guys. Why can't you fix it, pump guys? Just jam a freaking snake up there. I could do it myself if I weren't so pretty.

Now to that old stand-by: last night's episode of Star Trek. Through a series of highly improbable events, the crew find themselves back in the late 19th Century where they meet Mark Twain and Whoopi Goldberg. For some reason, Mark Twain talks like he's had some sort of debilitating stroke. Why do old timey people in old timey settings always talk in that crazy voice? It's the really high pitched one where they elongate all their words, the voice you'd use if you were imitating an old man saying "Back in myyyyyyyyy day..." Ever see the America show at Epcot? I refuse to believe the founders of our country talked like that, and anyone who says they did is a communist.