Not....Pigeons

Whelp, the Astros sure bit it hard last night. That's what you get for being from Texas, jerks! Anyway, you may not have won any games, but you have won my pity. Enjoy it in good health. I flipped away after the game ended and Kel made me flip it back. What?--I asked--I thought you hated baseball. "Oh yeah, I do. I guess I was just hoping they'd somehow have footage of Lizett looking wrecked." Haha, indeed. In fairness, Kel was also rooting for the Astros--I suppose that after being at ND the past few years she's well equipped to empathize with them.

So Marisa's father comes up to Mothball at his tailgate Saturday and says "I understand you want to hook up with my daughter." Um, what? Did I just hear that? Can someone confirm that just happened? The only thing that could be more awkward is if Marisa was standing right there. Unfortunately (for Ball) and hilariously (for me) she was standing right there, so maximum awkwardness was attained. What do you say to a question like that? In that situation I think I'd have to go for the witty jibe, which I believe is the route Ball took. Another option would be soiling your shorts. When I'm older I'm going to ask all my daughter's guy friends that, only I'll have straw in my mouth and I'll say it in a heavy southern accent like "I understayand that yeeew wanna hook up with maahh daaawter!" Then I'll slap him on the back and tell him I'm kidding, and just when he thinks he's safe I'll shout "Git'im boooooys!" and a bunch of plaid-wearing rednecks will pounce. Pirate rednecks, maybe! Haha! What a zany and farfetched scenario I've described!

Which brings me to my next point. Why is everyone so freaking fascinated that I wear a tie to work? I work in the Dome you savages! I've worked here for two years! Every time I run into anyone I knew from undergrad, they feel compelled to say "Well you're all dressed up!" Yeah, usually I go to work in bermuda shorts and a wife beater with the nipples cut out...I just thought I might run into you today so I dressed to impress. So help me I will dip you in chocolate, give Kel your scent, and release you in the woods. And you will die.

T-Minus one week until delicious JISM Church meeting #1! Be there or be...not...damned.