And Then I Won $25

VICTORY! I always knew God loved me above all others, but now I have proof in the form of a $25 gas card. Lizett and I were on one of our bi-monthly Hooters outings, judging the waitresses, when opportunity knocked--there was to be a drawing for a $25 dollar gas card, and all you needed to do to enter was give up your name, address, phone number, birthday, and email! How could I lose?? So I entered with a bunch of information that is about to change in 3 weeks anyway and sure enough, when the moment came the winner was the very alias I had used, Santos L. Halper. Joy of joys, free gas! The guy next to me held out his fist in congratulations, and suddenly I panicked. How are the kids hitting the rock these days? Are they even calling it the rock anymore? Did they ever? I CAN'T REMEMBER! I went for the downstroke, followed by the upstroke, finishing strong with knuckle to knuckle contact, and then fled.

Unfortunately to collect my prize I had to get my picture taken with all the Hooter Girls so they could display my triumph on the wall...I know, it sounds good, but remember back in college when I always insisted on the no-touch hug? That was no act, my friends. I genuinely do hate physical contact with people I don't know very well, buxom and flirty though they may be, and being squeezed in between 10 strange women who smelled like chicken wings was my personal nightmare. I placed my hands firmly in my pockets, tried to keep as much distance as possible (which turned out to be none) and took the most awkward picture of all time. And then fled.