Fergorrendous

Last night we accidentally caught the first three minutes of Gossip Girl on the CW--I swear to Buddha it was an accident, we were just cleaning up after dinner before switching over to the DVRing Bionic Woman--and for some hilarious and unfathomable reason, the creators decided to open up their new series with an all female choir arrangement of Fergie's Glamorous. For realsies.

Words cannot express...it was horrible. HORRIBLE. When they said floss-ay floss-aaay I started to question if I had lost my mind. It was more uncomfortable than last night on America's Next Top Model when Tyra started talking with a french accent for no reason and then kept up with it for like 5 minutes of air time. Yeah, I watch it.

I already feel that Fergie is the worst thing to happen to music since my buddy Paco from high school changed his name to Pimp Daddy Welfare and released his rap single Mr T. Is A Bitch*, and this was the worst thing to happen to Fergie since those terrorists released an ultra-slow lullaby-remix of My Humps, which I'd gladly link to here except the US government tracked and eradicated all existing copies for the good of the world. Best 33 billion dollars they ever spent. Point is, don't watch Gossip Girl, or you will die.

*

Mr T. is a bitch, Mr. T is a bitch

 

And I pity the fool that don't know that shit