Smooth Like Butter <wrickeh> Hard Like Scotch

Let it be known that on the 29th day of August in the year 2000 aught 7, Dr. Swarlemagne VonBarkley III Esquire gained his certification as a beggining-level obedience trained puppy. Doubt me? BAM!

I went all Certificate of Achievement on your asses. But if you can't read it, perhaps this adorable hat will convince you! WA-PAAAAAH!

Oh yes, there was a graduation ceremony. Never let it be said that Petsmart has shame. First he had to pass his "final", which involved going around to different areas of the store to execute the various commands he's learned while that one frantic song played that's like

DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE
DEETLEE-dee-dee DEETLEE-dee-dee
DEE-dee DEE-dee DEE-dee DEE-dee
DEEEEEEEEEE <trom-boooooooone>
DEEEE DEEEE <trom-boooooooone>

And once he had passed, he got back to the training area for his Graduation Gift, which was his choice (soundtracked by the Final Jeopardy theme) of a blue rubber ball or a delicious pig ear. To the surprise of all he went for the animal flesh. After consuming his gift our trainer Jim spun up a little Pomp and Circumstance, adorned Swarleze's dome with the aforementioned adorable hat, and finally it was time to spend the next 15 minutes trying to keep his dome adorned with the aforementioned adorable hat. But Lizett couldn't make the ceremony, and it's long been her dream to see Swarles in a hat, so we made it work and keepsake photos were taken. Then I went outside and vomited for a while. In conclusion: FOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!