Much Sun, My Everything Hurts
This Saturday was a day of glorious outdoor activity. I got up early for a round of golf, not a problem for once since I had gone to bed at about 10 on Friday following several hours of napping--so, I guess really I went to bed at like 7. It was glorious. Anyway, the weather could not have been better--sunny, warm, but with a pleasant cooling breeze. In a bizarre role reversal, I had a calm though average round while Ball's rage continued to climb until his very glare detonated the unfortunate small woodland creatures who happened upon it. I helpfully suggested that he recenter his chi, and he rather graphically responded that I recenter my lips around his...something. I'm not sure, the details are a little fuzzy. Ha ha! I'm so clever.
From there it was onto the pool for lounging and baking. We stuck it out as long as we could, but by that time it was so blazing hot that even laying out was too taxing, and also I think my nips were starting to burn. So, in a bold and completely sane fit of genius, we decided to go play tennis--at 2pm--on the hottest day of summer. Brilliant! We picked up a couple liters of water each on the way and proceeded to play one of the more lethargic sets in the history of tennisdom. I was through both my liters well before the first set was out, and finally at 6-6 we simply surrendered without bothering with a tie breaker. What drives us to do these things?
After the most refreshing shower in the history of refreshing showerdom, we headed out to meet Jani at Outback, because Jani loves steak. Can't get enough of it. In classic Jani style, she was about an hour and a half late, so Ball and I amused ourselves visiting some of our more loved establishments for some preparatory beers. First we visited Hooters, where something awkward happened that doesn't translate well via writing, and then Chilis, where something awkward happened that works a little better. See, Jamie the bartender was in and spotted us on the way out of the kitchen, or more accurately spotted Ball, and for many awesome reasons, none of them awesome, unsneakily fled the vicinity for the remainder of our stay. Kind of a GASP--flee! What a whore.
Outback was delicious. Jani talked about what Jani always talks about. Ball made a comment that is horrifying even for Ball, and will haunt my dreams for the rest of eternity. Also, he left the ol' 100% tip about 25 minutes after vowing to never again leave 100% tips, making it the worst vow in the history of worst vowdom. Jani invited us to some party she was going to after dinner, and though we knew nobody there, we agreed on the condition that she DD and we be allowed to be the shady dudes who show up with 40s and cigars.
It was fine. It was an outdoor affair, nicely rounding out our day of glorious outdoor activity. We played some cornhole and drank some semi warm 40s. The bathroom didn't have a lock, and there was a dude outside amusing himself by saying "yeah, no one's in there." I fell for it, and it was awkward. He was much larger than me, or he may have ended up with warm 40 on his crotch. Jani, in one of her lamer moments, proceeded to engage in a chugging contest with the host. Thanks, DD. Fortunately it turned out we did know a few people there, or rather they knew us, and they gave us a ride back, or Jani might have ended up with warm 40 on her crotch and a stick in the eye. Actually she did anyway as right before I left Jani followed me into the bathroom, yadda yadda yadda, and now I can never hang out with her again. Anyway, the girls we knew turned out to be Lorraine C's old roommates, prompting me to instinctively cover my manly parts, but it turns out they were both very nice and hardly hated me at all. Hooray for not being hated!
Sunday it rained.
I've got a short week coming up. This Friday I'm heading down to North Carolina to see the nieces. They're both extremely cute, but I'm particularly excited to see Natalie as I haven't seen her since she was very wee, and now she's doing all sorts of fun 1 year old stuff. Plus, with everyone down there it'll be fun to see some baby interaction. I was hoping to bring Lizett along to meet the fam and ooh and ahh over the babies, but unfortunately she developed a bad case of fin rot and is scheduled for a soldering iron of justice to the gullet that very day. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, that she not get too fat during the ensuing week of exclusive milkshake and ice cream consumption. Amen.
From there it was onto the pool for lounging and baking. We stuck it out as long as we could, but by that time it was so blazing hot that even laying out was too taxing, and also I think my nips were starting to burn. So, in a bold and completely sane fit of genius, we decided to go play tennis--at 2pm--on the hottest day of summer. Brilliant! We picked up a couple liters of water each on the way and proceeded to play one of the more lethargic sets in the history of tennisdom. I was through both my liters well before the first set was out, and finally at 6-6 we simply surrendered without bothering with a tie breaker. What drives us to do these things?
After the most refreshing shower in the history of refreshing showerdom, we headed out to meet Jani at Outback, because Jani loves steak. Can't get enough of it. In classic Jani style, she was about an hour and a half late, so Ball and I amused ourselves visiting some of our more loved establishments for some preparatory beers. First we visited Hooters, where something awkward happened that doesn't translate well via writing, and then Chilis, where something awkward happened that works a little better. See, Jamie the bartender was in and spotted us on the way out of the kitchen, or more accurately spotted Ball, and for many awesome reasons, none of them awesome, unsneakily fled the vicinity for the remainder of our stay. Kind of a GASP--flee! What a whore.
Outback was delicious. Jani talked about what Jani always talks about. Ball made a comment that is horrifying even for Ball, and will haunt my dreams for the rest of eternity. Also, he left the ol' 100% tip about 25 minutes after vowing to never again leave 100% tips, making it the worst vow in the history of worst vowdom. Jani invited us to some party she was going to after dinner, and though we knew nobody there, we agreed on the condition that she DD and we be allowed to be the shady dudes who show up with 40s and cigars.
It was fine. It was an outdoor affair, nicely rounding out our day of glorious outdoor activity. We played some cornhole and drank some semi warm 40s. The bathroom didn't have a lock, and there was a dude outside amusing himself by saying "yeah, no one's in there." I fell for it, and it was awkward. He was much larger than me, or he may have ended up with warm 40 on his crotch. Jani, in one of her lamer moments, proceeded to engage in a chugging contest with the host. Thanks, DD. Fortunately it turned out we did know a few people there, or rather they knew us, and they gave us a ride back, or Jani might have ended up with warm 40 on her crotch and a stick in the eye. Actually she did anyway as right before I left Jani followed me into the bathroom, yadda yadda yadda, and now I can never hang out with her again. Anyway, the girls we knew turned out to be Lorraine C's old roommates, prompting me to instinctively cover my manly parts, but it turns out they were both very nice and hardly hated me at all. Hooray for not being hated!
Sunday it rained.
I've got a short week coming up. This Friday I'm heading down to North Carolina to see the nieces. They're both extremely cute, but I'm particularly excited to see Natalie as I haven't seen her since she was very wee, and now she's doing all sorts of fun 1 year old stuff. Plus, with everyone down there it'll be fun to see some baby interaction. I was hoping to bring Lizett along to meet the fam and ooh and ahh over the babies, but unfortunately she developed a bad case of fin rot and is scheduled for a soldering iron of justice to the gullet that very day. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, that she not get too fat during the ensuing week of exclusive milkshake and ice cream consumption. Amen.
Post a Comment
I had to think about the awkward Hooter's moment and then I remembered....yeah.....yeah..........
11:25 AM, June 19, 2006
In other news, the soldering iron of justice is set to attack my throat on Thursday now. Weeee. That's what you say when you're having fun, you refer to yourself and some other people.
12:16 PM, June 19, 2006
Post a Comment