Actual Weekend Wrapup
Hooray! We won our first bookstore game yesterday. Against ATHLETES. Swimmers, baby. They were big and mean, and a little hairy. They had swim practice so they didn't show up to the game. Victory was sweet. Harold Pace All-Stars Featuring Samuel L. Jackson and the SuperMegaTerrificHappyPartyFun Shooters of Justice HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! That is our team battle cry, and somewhere, every time we utter it, a maltese explodes.
This last weekend was not quite so lazy and wasteful as I previously made it out to be--we had all kinds of wacky adventures! Lizett took a swing at a cop! Mothball, his trip to Slovenia unexpectedly cancelled, went insane and started ranting about the Mason-Dixon line. I myself had a few drinks at Hacienda and tried to stab our server. Other highlights include extreme Legends awkwardness, hitting my own testicles down the 18th at Putt-Putt, a happy-go-lucky restaurant mini-crawl, 4 narrowly avoided car accidents, 3 narrowly avoided nights of going out, no delicious cake whatsoever, and V for Vendetta. V for Vendetta was uber-sweet. It wasn't quite so comic-booky as I expected, but it was pretty stabby and blow-uppy, and it has rekindled my lifelong dream of having a girlfriend with a shaved head.
The pinnacle of the weekend was surely Sunday when we arrived at the airport approximately half an hour before Lizett's flight out (no worries, I said, it's just South Bend!) and discovered that not only had they given her ticket away, but they had no additional flights out until Monday morning. HAHAHAHA! It's funny to me because I wasn't inconvenienced.
EROTIC EYELASH PULLING! Have you ever heard those words strung together before? I am willing to bet a large sack of gold doubloons that you have not. And have you ever been trying to withhold laughter, but failed so horrifically, so explosively, so slobberily, that you actually felt splashback off the face of a person more than a foot away? Good God, me neither. That would be disgusting, and more than a little embarrassing for all parties involved.
In other news, Jenkins released a statement yesterday officially allowing the continued on-campus performance of The Vagina Monologues, but only if equal representation is given to The Penis Monologues, The Sphincter Monologues, The Elbow Monologues, and Surf Ninjas.
This last weekend was not quite so lazy and wasteful as I previously made it out to be--we had all kinds of wacky adventures! Lizett took a swing at a cop! Mothball, his trip to Slovenia unexpectedly cancelled, went insane and started ranting about the Mason-Dixon line. I myself had a few drinks at Hacienda and tried to stab our server. Other highlights include extreme Legends awkwardness, hitting my own testicles down the 18th at Putt-Putt, a happy-go-lucky restaurant mini-crawl, 4 narrowly avoided car accidents, 3 narrowly avoided nights of going out, no delicious cake whatsoever, and V for Vendetta. V for Vendetta was uber-sweet. It wasn't quite so comic-booky as I expected, but it was pretty stabby and blow-uppy, and it has rekindled my lifelong dream of having a girlfriend with a shaved head.
The pinnacle of the weekend was surely Sunday when we arrived at the airport approximately half an hour before Lizett's flight out (no worries, I said, it's just South Bend!) and discovered that not only had they given her ticket away, but they had no additional flights out until Monday morning. HAHAHAHA! It's funny to me because I wasn't inconvenienced.
EROTIC EYELASH PULLING! Have you ever heard those words strung together before? I am willing to bet a large sack of gold doubloons that you have not. And have you ever been trying to withhold laughter, but failed so horrifically, so explosively, so slobberily, that you actually felt splashback off the face of a person more than a foot away? Good God, me neither. That would be disgusting, and more than a little embarrassing for all parties involved.
In other news, Jenkins released a statement yesterday officially allowing the continued on-campus performance of The Vagina Monologues, but only if equal representation is given to The Penis Monologues, The Sphincter Monologues, The Elbow Monologues, and Surf Ninjas.
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