Rising...RISING...
Yesterday it was sunny and 60 in the Bend. Today: sub-freezing temperatures with a side of soul-penetrating wind. I had to brush snow off my windshield this morning! It was 60 yesterday! Where am I!?
Speaking of murderous rage--I actually witnessed some this weekend. My roommate and I frequently joke that the restaurant below our place must be a crack house, on account of the fact that it has somehow stayed open for years and years, yet we've never seen anyone eating there. So at first when I saw a group of gentlemen eating on the patio table in the parking lot I thought, hey, they do sell food there! That's a relief! Then...the gentlemen started arguing about something. Then one of the gentlemen got up, went behind the restaurant, and came running back out with an axe. An axe. Needless to say the other guy ran like hell. Can you even imagine someone actually coming at you with an axe? I saw it and I can't wrap my mind around it. What was an axe even doing behind the restaurant? Where do I live!? Finally his friends tackled him and took the weapon but...I think I'm going to give that place an even wider berth than usual for a while.
Item #2 I never thought I'd witness in real life--a flying knee-drop to the junk. We were watching Shrek 2 after a lovely meal at Hacienda when, without warning, Jani got up off the couch, made some primal "EEEEEEEEEEE!" noise, jumped into the air, and dropped knee first into Ball's crotch. I swear to God I am not making this up, nor am I omitting any context. There was no context. It was wholly without warning--one second we were watching a movie, the next Ball was rocking back and forth, whimpering softly. And I'm not mocking Ball here, it's a testament to his manliness that he didn't out and out cry. I mean, a knee-drop to the junk! I'd rather face the guy with the axe.
I'm deeply conflicted about this event. On the one hand--hahahahahahaha!! On the other hand--I mean, it's like hitting someone in the face with a 2x4. It's hilarious if you're David Spade cracking one across Chris Farley's temple, but in real life it's just kind of...tragic and terrible. I will file it away for future use, when the wounds heal and Ball learns to laugh again.
Speaking of murderous rage--I actually witnessed some this weekend. My roommate and I frequently joke that the restaurant below our place must be a crack house, on account of the fact that it has somehow stayed open for years and years, yet we've never seen anyone eating there. So at first when I saw a group of gentlemen eating on the patio table in the parking lot I thought, hey, they do sell food there! That's a relief! Then...the gentlemen started arguing about something. Then one of the gentlemen got up, went behind the restaurant, and came running back out with an axe. An axe. Needless to say the other guy ran like hell. Can you even imagine someone actually coming at you with an axe? I saw it and I can't wrap my mind around it. What was an axe even doing behind the restaurant? Where do I live!? Finally his friends tackled him and took the weapon but...I think I'm going to give that place an even wider berth than usual for a while.Item #2 I never thought I'd witness in real life--a flying knee-drop to the junk. We were watching Shrek 2 after a lovely meal at Hacienda when, without warning, Jani got up off the couch, made some primal "EEEEEEEEEEE!" noise, jumped into the air, and dropped knee first into Ball's crotch. I swear to God I am not making this up, nor am I omitting any context. There was no context. It was wholly without warning--one second we were watching a movie, the next Ball was rocking back and forth, whimpering softly. And I'm not mocking Ball here, it's a testament to his manliness that he didn't out and out cry. I mean, a knee-drop to the junk! I'd rather face the guy with the axe.
I'm deeply conflicted about this event. On the one hand--hahahahahahaha!! On the other hand--I mean, it's like hitting someone in the face with a 2x4. It's hilarious if you're David Spade cracking one across Chris Farley's temple, but in real life it's just kind of...tragic and terrible. I will file it away for future use, when the wounds heal and Ball learns to laugh again.
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1:28 PM, March 15, 2006
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