2 Posts In A Day? A-Waaaaaahhh??

I have some advice for all the ladies out there: start playing tennis. Do it immediately. I ride past the Eck tennis courts four times a day, and I have come to conclude that all girls who play tennis are invariably mind-blowingly hot. There are no exceptions to this rule. I have also found the same to hold true, to a lesser extent, to rollerbladers--but if you're thinking about playing tennis on rollerblades, let me stop you right there. I've done it. And that is why I now have lazy eye.

In other news, I've decided to pick up spanish and start watching Telemundo so that I may finally, and at long last, find out why there are so many hobos on there. I've only started the learning process, but I've already picked up a few key phrases, including but not limited to:

• Lizett es un perdedor grande!
• Lizett está volando sobre una escoba!
• Lizett está comiendo bebés!
• Lizett tiene fuerza increíble del superior-cuerpo!
• Lizett está erotically pulling eyelashes...o!

As you can see, my mastery has not yet developed to enormously impressive levels--in fact, I didn't even write all of those sentences! I just asked people who speak spanish to throw some sentences at me and those are the ones they randomly chose. What do you suppose they mean?