Somebody Get Me A Pellet Gun--I'll Make It So That Bird Can't Poop Anymore

I just saw a guy in the bathroom drinking from the sink, not 10 feet away from the water fountain. Yes, the water fountains here are IN the bathroom. He was a big guy and he had a pencil behind his ear. He was moaning softly and his pantaloons were rolled up. I couldn't see his face but I'm 99% sure it was Lane Weaver.