Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Guest Poster

Please enjoy today's involuntary guest post by Lunchbox, reprinted without permission and for my own amusement.

Life plans

1. Where do you live? Describe what your home looks like.
A Red State - somewhere I can exercise my second amendment rights. My home is an apartment on top of a nine-car garage. One of the spaces has a gun-metal gray Hummer H1 Alpha convertible with the license plate “SUCKIT AL.”

2. What kind of people have you surrounded yourself with? Republicans.

3. Who are your best friends? What makes these relationships work? Also Republicans. Rational conservative thought for part 2.

4. What do you do on a daily basis that fulfills your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs? Shoot stuff and masturbate... sometimes at the both together.

5. Look at the clothes you are wearing. What do they say about you? They say I’m a man who loves Seersucker and may or may not own a boat, but has the footwear for one.

6. How would you describe your chosen profession? Industrialist would be nice. Rich, productive and pissed off liberals sounds good to me... so industrialist.

7. Describe your work setting. Mahogany, rich leather, wet bar, guys named Thorton, Sherwood and Chadwick hanging around.

8. Whom do you work with? Once again, Republicans.

9. Describe your ideal client and your ideal working relationship. Rich and stupid.

10. What do you enjoy most about your career? Crushing others’ hopes and dreams for small financial gains.

11. How much money do you make? Enough to crush others’ hopes and dreams for small financial gains.

12. What do you spend your money on? Do I really have to spell it out for you? C-r-u-s-h-i-n-g o-t-h-e-r….

13. Have you acquired any awards and honors? Fighter ace would be cool... Down 5+ commies, awe yeas...

14. Describe how you think your peers view you. Fear, awe, loathing, jealousy... sexual confusion?

15. How do you view yourself? Fear, awe, loathing, jealousy, sexual confusion?

16. What do your admirers say about you and your work? He’s sure good at crushing others…

17. What would you like to contribute to your field? I ’d like to make hooded sweatshirts acceptable business formal attire.

18. What would you like to contribute to your community? Legalization of turret guns to keep the great unwashed masses from enjoying the opulent splendor of wealth’s surroundings.

19. How do you enjoy your spare time? Ever seen “Surviving the Game?” Yea, I said it... hunting homeless people for sport and pleasure.

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Blogger ndchick1 said...
trying not to laugh out loud at work is making me cry...and my waterproof mascara run. dammit!

i love my boyfriend. god bless him.

10:34 AM, January 31, 2007  

Blogger Goat said...
"Ronald Reagan should be on the one dollar bill!"
"That's so sexy! What about Hilary?"
"I HATE that bitch."

Oh, how I love Scrubs

5:59 PM, February 07, 2007  

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