Standing At The Edge Of Tomorrow, Today Today Today Today Today!

We went to Corby's super early last night, as is now apparently the Thursday custom. Sarah tragically wasn't working, her shift covered by the morbidly obese bouncer--technically he has bigger breasts but he still got a lesser tip. Suckaaa! I was in the bathroom at the end of the night, and Drunky McPsycho runs in, tears streaming down his face, yelling about how it was his birthday and he didn't "got no" friends and all he wanted was something cold to drink. I guess it doesn't sound that wacky, but try to picture a weeping middle aged man screaming at you in a bar bathroom--what was I supposed to do? Logistics prevented me from bolting. I thought about telling him I didn't got no money, but I figured anyone unstable enough to openly cry in front of a random stranger in the bathroom is probably fully capable of murder, so I gave him two dollars and he responded, bizarrely, with:

"Yeah, you went to college, right?"
"Yes."
"Then you understand, man! You understand!"

O...kay. Also, I am relatively sure some son of a bitch at the post office watched one of my Netflix movies before delivering it. 3 movies were sent out the same day, two received last Friday, the third received just this afternoon--the envelope torn completely in half and taped back together. There's a little stamp on the front that says "UR APOL (new line) OST OFFI (new line) UTH BEND, 4", which I take it is some sort of awesome apology. Really tugged on my heartstrings. Well I hope you thoroughly enjoyed Sideways, Mr. corrupt outh bend ost offi employee, because I will have my revenge if it takes me 50 years. Tenfold.