A Very Special Weekend Visit

The weekend visit was a smashing success--they shopped, I played video games, we all stuffed ourselves. Then Oscar got an erection, and it FREAKED HIM THE HELL OUT. One minute he was snoozing peacefully, the next he was up, bucking as he hunched half-over in pooping position, his back legs pinning a frantically wagging tail, his front legs rotating wildly on their vertical axis as if he could no longer bend his knees. He scrambled around the room trying to find a crotch to bury his face in, a 120lb beast twirling in a disoriented terror. We didn't know what to make of it at the time, it looked more like a seizure than the aftermath of a sexy dream. My mom had apparently observed this behavior before though, and she ushered him out of the room, pretending she didn't know what to make of it either. I guess she didn't want to tell Lizett's mom "it's okay, he's just scared of his penis."

Thinking about it now from his perspective--the poor guy just didn't understand what was happening. How would you feel if a big slimy tentacle spontaneously popped out of your belly button? HMMMMMMMM?? I'm not ashamed to admit I would crouch over as if to poop, lock my knees, and rotate my legs wildly as I danced around the room seeking the safety of a warm crotch. Don't act like you wouldn't.